Friday, August 15, 2008

Sign Here, Please

I go to the airport to meet Guest #1 in less than 5 hours now. As I was running around giving the floor one last Swiffer-ing (yes, I brought a year's worth of Swiffer products down with me - we have all solid surface flooring here, can you blame me?) and putting away all my underwear that was hanging dry from yesterday's laundry, it occurred to me that I had forgotten one important detail. I have the guest room all prepared: clean sheets on the bed, pillows fluffed, hangers in the closet, and a little Brasil welcome gift including a pair of Havianas, a box of Brasilian chocolates, and yes, even a Brasilian swimsuit to wear if he dare (or just as a souvenir as a reminder of what he observed at the pools and beaches while down here South of the equator.) But it occurred to me early this morning that I had forgotten one vital detail: the release.

Because hey, what fun would it be to host visitors down here if I couldn't blog all about our adventures? I have people to entertain here folks! (Referring to the seven or so people who keep up with me here, not the people that are coming to Brasil that I have to actually, um, entertain.)

So, that being said, I need to print off a copy of the release. I think I'll make him sign it at the airport today. That way, if he tries to refuse, I can threaten to leave him there. Surrounded by an all Portuguese speaking general public, I think he will be just concerned enough to put the pen to the paper for me. {insert yesterday's evil laugh here again}


Release of Blogging Liability

I, ________________________, hereby release Emily, Eric, and from all liability in regards to what may be written on the blog during the period of August 15 - August 29, 2008. I understand that my name, photo, and likeness may be used and that I will receive no financial gain from such uses. (Unless by some odd freakish turn of events Emily starts getting paid to blog thanks solely to my appearance and then, if she is feeling especially friendly, Emily may offer me a quarter or something.)

I understand that Emily uses very little discretion in regards to the stories she tells and such lack of consideration could cause me embarrassment and other emotional damages. Emily, et al will not be held liable for such damages.

I understand that if I were to decide to don the Brasilian men's swimwear of choice, Emily's camera will be out and shooting pictures as fast as the paparazzi on the Bragelina twins. I understand that said pictures could end up posted on her blog, spread across the worldwide web, possibly sold to Brasilian and American tabloids, and without a doubt a life-size poster would be printed and sent immediately to my girlfriend in the USA who would probably take it into my office and hang it above my desk prior to my return. If such an occurrence were to materialize, it is highly likely I would never be able to return to work thanks to the inhumane verbal abuse I would receive from all the guys at the office. Under no circumstances will Emily or her peeps be held responsible for such actions.

As per Eric, I acknowledge that Emily likes to tell her version of the story, which may often differ greatly from my version. I understand that anything I say (or even think for that matter) may be poorly quoted, taken out of context, and all together twisted if it makes for a better story.

Basically, what I'm saying here is that Emily will blog as she pleases and there ain't too much I can do about it.


August 15, 2008


On the way home from the airport we will then have to stop by the Polícia Federal to have his passport/visa approved as indeed valid. After that we will need to make a run by the mob office, oops I mean the Cartório, and have his signature put on file there. Afterwards we will need this document signed by two witnesses. Then we can return to the Cartório where we will pay dearly to have the release stamped, sealed, and signed by a couple more people. This is Brasil, this is how it's done. I like to keep things legal, you know. (Have I not blogged about the Cartório yet? Hmm, I need to do that soon. It's an interesting system, to say the least. But let me assure you, my release above will not be valid until I pay the Cartório.)


Amanda said...

"Basically what I am saying here is Emily can blog as she pleases and there aint much I can do about it"

LOVE it!! Thanks for the laugh this morning! I needed it!

Mamasphere said...

That is too funny!

Question about the after airport activities- I never had to go to the police station or cartorio? Is that standard for visitors?

Lori - Blondie in Brazil said...

Ha, ha! It is definitely good to give a guests a taste of what it is really like - all those documents!!

Swiffer products?!! That is awesome. You always make me feel so much better. I thought I was the only one who just had to have some of what I consider 'my things' down here with me. :)
Have a blast with your guests!

Emily said...


Well, not usually. But if there are any contracts to be signed or papers that need to be official, everything has to go through the cartório! It's a crazy, crazy system. I'll have to talk about it in more detail soon. And lots of issues that I wouldn't think would belong to the Polícia Federal do! (I won't actually haul my guest there this time though - unless he gives too much trouble about this release - hahahaha)

corinne said...

Given that the Brazilian idea of a mop is a long-handled squeegie with a rag twisted around (but not fastened to) the end - which inevitably falls off several times during mopping, I don´t blame you for bringing your own supplies!! PLEASE write a blog about cartorios, I sure it will be hilarious!!

Have fun with you guest!!

Jill said...

I came over by way of Laurel at Mamasphere. I'm another expat - living now in India for 3 years. Your writing is hilarious and I love your release of liability statement for your blog. Very clever!

I'm Jill BTW - nice to "meet" you!

Ray Adkins said...


FYI, Cartorios were introduced in Brazil by the Portuguese monarchy, that is why it is such a crazy little system to put up with, needless to say, outdated...
The Portuguese crown gave some of their "blue blooded" friends and relatives of the royal family the "right" to establish public offices who would testify that a certain document was authentic, and charge cold hard cach for it, because they were trusted by the royal family they were presumed honest and most of them were indeed and valued their trusted positions in society, but that was about 350 years ago...
The Cartorios you have in Brazil today are still owed by the descendents of those "privileged" feel, who still hold the right to charge for their presumed notion of honesty and make things legal and official.