Thursday, August 14, 2008

Birdicidal Thoughts

What you are looking at below is one of my living room windows. One of the many windows that I spent hours yesterday cleaning. And I really dislike cleaning windows . . . more than toilets, in fact.

See those streaks down the window? Yeah, those weren't there when I went to bed last night.

That was just a lovely little surprise left for me by the pigeons who apparently decided to have a little party while perched on the little ledge above my window.

They left their calling card at the bottom of the window too.

The white marble of that bottom ledge was also sparkling clean last night when I went to bed.

There is currently one very unhappy resident on the 5th floor. She has murder in her sleepy eyes this morning. She is about to do some googling of things like "common household items that are highly toxic to pigeons" and "how to kill a pigeon without a gun" and maybe, just maybe if the birdicidal (that would be like homicidal except more pigeon-related) thoughts leave her brain for a moment she might look up "pigeon repellent".

See, I'm not sure I would be so annoyed except that the pigeons have never, ever sat on the top ledge of my windows. And I've never, ever had pigeon poo streaks down my windows. And I am pretty dang sure right now that the pigeons watched me slaving away washing windows yesterday and formulated their evil little plan just out of spite and meanness. Which proves my previous theory regarding pigeons; they are the devil. (Say that with your best 'Mama Boucher' Cajun accent - from Adam Sandler's The Waterboy.)

Current score: Pigeons 1 - Emily 0

But my oh my, how things will soon be changing! {insert evil laugh}


Beth said...

LOL that is too funny. Poor little birds, they could not help it! I bet you can't help what you are going to do either :)

BTW, yesterdays post was too funny. I had been thinking about that, and guessing some of what was on your list!

Your granola and yogurt looks great! I have been making homemade yogurt and it is so good!

Amanda said...

HAHA! My little friends delivered my present just right! Instead of throwing a box at your head I figured I'd get ya where it really hurts!

Anonymous said...

You will be reported to PETA

Your passport will be burned and you will have move to Southwestern Buttkrackistan after your stay in Brazil because it is the only safe place for someone of such loose morals to reside without the constant fear of the PETA Nazis!

Tony said...

Pigeons are just rats with wings! ;)


Jeremy Sarber said...

I have the same beef with some local swallows. When I wash my car, it takes them only hours to dirty it up again. All bets are off as far as I'm concerned.