Tuesday, March 11, 2008

No translation needed!

Sometimes you don't need your English/Portuguese dictionary...even when the word you hear is new to your ears.

I am sure karma will come back to bite me in the behind for sharing this (and for laughing to myself the last hour and a half while I prepared supper!) But maybe you need a good laugh today, and, if so, that evens out the karma, right?

I went to the grocery store just a block and a half from our apartment late this afternoon to pick up a couple things I needed for the tacos I am making for supper. (And given that Mexican food doesn't exist in this town and everything has to made from scratch (you know, salsa, guac, flour tortillas, taco seasoning . . . seriously, everything from scratch!), I needed quite a few things.

Anyhoo, I was in the produce department trying to decide if I wanted green leaf lettuce or iceberg, when an older gentleman walked up beside me to look at some herbs. He said, "Boa tarde" and just as I was returning the sentiment, he let out the loudest, longest, and grossest sounding...hmmm...um...toot. (Is that polite enough? Although seriously the word "toot" is way too cute sounding to describe this! If you've ever watched the movie Major Payne, there is a scene in that movie where the kids put a laxative in the Major's food and he lets out a "toot" that is so disgusting TBS bleeps it out when they air the movie...seriously. And this was worse than that!)

Immediately after the noisy incident, the gentleman (can I still call him that?) looks at me with panic in his eyes, grabs his behind, says a word that I've never heard (but I am pretty certain I know what it translates to in English!), and dashes out the front door of the store doing some kind of a half waddle/half run still holding his rear end the entire time.

I feel quite certain the poor guy had to rush home and change his britches . . . and by the time he made it home, maybe his socks too.

Trying not to laugh too loud, because I was the sole witness to the whole incident and din't want to look crazy, and fighting back tears from trying to hold in my laughter, I grabbed some green leaf lettuce - it was nearest to my hand - and made a speedy getaway. This way I was able to get inside the confinement of my own home and laugh out loud all I wanted. And I did. For an hour and a half. And again now as I write this. And yes, I realize that this karma could be of the dangerous variety.

5 comments:

Jeremy Sarber said...

My goodness. This is hilarious. Poor guy though. That had to embarrassing!

Laural said...

That is hilarious!

Here's to hoping more hilarity ensues, 'cause I love the way you write about it.

Beth said...

oh my goodness! That was too funny!!!! Poor guy hopefully he made it home without to much trouble!

Kate said...

That is way too funny! You were to polite, if it was I, I wouldn't be able to help but laugh out loud. What did Eric think?

Emily said...

Kate, I didn't think I would be able to get through the story without dying laughing again (I had only recently gathered my composure when Eric got home last night.) I suggested he read the story before supper so he would understand if I spontaneously burst out in laughter. I'll tell you what, it made for great dinner conversation! HA! He's been making some guesses at what will happen to me now to even the score of me finding so much humor in the poor guy's pain...oh, I promise I'm not usually such a terrible person! ;)