Monday, January 11, 2010

Momma's Got a New Boyfriend

After our initial freeze and subsequent thawing out (man, I love heaters), we went over to our home here in Burlington. It is a house that Eric bought in 2005 (pre-Emily) and the perfect little starter home: three bedroom, two bath, finished basement, and 2-stall garage. We lived there together for six weeks after we were married, but then rented it out to a family when we moved to Brasil.

There are plenty of renter nightmares out there: stories of broken windows, holes in the walls, and your home turning into a crack house. Luckily we were spared any of that. Or at least no one has shown up at our house looking to buy drugs, yet. But we weren't spared crayon on every wall in the house, magic marker and cigarette burns on the carpet (yeah, they totally smoked in our house despite the contract specifically forbidding it!), a kitchen that appears to not have been cleaned in the entire two years we were gone, and a lovely build-up of soap scum in the bathrooms.

My initial reaction included curling up in the fetal position, sucking my thumb, and crying for Lucilene (my faxineira - cleaning lady - in Brasil). A couple days later, I decided what I really needed was a new boyfriend. Nothing cheers you up like new love, right?

Surprisingly enough, my ever supportive husband was okay with it. In fact, I might even go so far as to say that Eric encouraged my efforts and actually was excited to hear I was spending so much time with my new boyfriend while he labored away at the office all day. But I must admit I even surprised myself with the new apple of my eye. He's about as different from Eric as you can get. Burly, bald, pierced, and with crazy bushy eyebrows. Nothing at all like my usual type. But what can I say, I am smitten.

And maybe you even know my new boyfriend. He's rather famous.

Ah, yes. The oh-so-hot Mr. Clean. He and I had some good times last week. Between his magic erasers and multi-surface antibacterial cleaner, my house is now sanitized and a lot less gross. My bathrooms sparkle and the kitchen appliances shine. And now after a weekend full of interior painting and new carpet that should be installed within the next week, our house is going to be ready to be moved into real soon.

Meanwhile, we are living it up in a hotel letting someone else make my bed and fix my breakfast. Which is nice as it gives me a lot more time to lament in my current sub-freezing situation, wipe snotty noses (mine and Gabriela's (Eric is in charge of his own mucus) - we are fighting some nasty colds right now), and power-walk laps in the mall with all the old people (which is great for my waist and my spirits . . . but not so much for the credit card bill).

We've been real busy and I've got so much catch-up blogging to do on the holidays, our final days in Brasil, oh, and our vacation from back in November. Promise I'm going to get around to it all soon! For now, I've got to go suction out my child's nose. For the 14th time today. Try not to be jealous. ;)


Cherie said...

Welcome home.

Amanda said...

You need to go get a netti pot for your nose and some simply saline to squirt in little missies nose before you suction it. i swear by it. well, if I was the swearing kind!!!

BTW, I have an on-again, off-again relationship with your new boyfriend!

Beth O. said...

I hope they paid a hefty deposit to offset the new carpet cost!

Corinne said...

We have thoroughly enjoyed the magic erasers we bought at your moving sale. They are great. Can´t wait to hear how the new countertops look. Stay warm!! After my first year in Brazil I came back to a blizzard in DC, so I totally feel for you trying to aclimate to that cold.

If it is any consolation I am in Rio this week and it is SO hot!! 41 degrees and no AC!

Ray Adkins said...

Your tenant story reminded me of my last nightmare experience with our tenant...long story short, between the broken windows and garage door, picking out dried up dog poop encrusted in the grain of the hardwood floors...
Our contract also specifically said NO PETS!
However the destruction caused by the children were far worse than the PETs.