Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The One About Poo

I know, I know. It's been forever since I've posted. I'm sure I've left everyone with lots of questions about our life: How is everyone? What are the girls up to these days? How cold is it in Iowa right now? And with any luck, I'll get to that stuff one of these days. Today however, I am led in a different: The girls' digestive systems. Yes, let's break the silence on the blog with some good poop talk...'cause that's what you do when you're a parent. You talk about poop.

We'll start with the little one. Lilian, my sweet Lilian. Whose first word was "mama" just before 11 months. Whose 2nd word was just about a month ago. It was "gaaaaa" (gas). Yes, my little petite cupcake's second word was gas. And to date, it remains her favorite. She enjoys announcing to the world whenever she toots or burps. She is also quick to let the world know when anyone else around her passes gas...and she often points at the offender. You can't get away with anything around that one. Be warned.

It should also be noted that besides being highly entertained by bodily functions, there is something about the car seat that makes the kid fill her diaper. You frequently go the door on her side and are met by a giant, contented grin, maybe even an excited squeal, and the stench of a poop-filled diaper. Which often escapes the diaper (always escapes if she is wearing a disposable) and fills up her pants legs and possibly even the car seat. I'm not sure if her pleasure is derived from the fact that she feels better with her bowels empty or that she finds humor in knowing the mess someone else is about to have to clean up. Either way, it's really quite charming. (<--insert sarcastic tone here)

And then there is Gabriela. Or Miss Fiber as I believe I might start calling her. More than once she has snuck off with a box of prunes and totally chowed down until I caught her. (Note, a child who eats a half pound of prunes in the morning will be spending the afternoon sitting on the potty. In the case of my two year old, that is considered a benefit of said activity. Much like her sister's fascination with gas, Gabs gets exceptionally excited about pooping.) When not eating copious amounts of prunes, she enjoys bran flakes or All-Bran bran buds, fruits of all kind, sweet corn, beans...she's a proctologist's dream patient. The kid loves her fiber. Which I'm going to credit for afternoons like today.

Just as I got up the counter at the bank today with two children en tow, Gabriela announced that she needed to "faz cocô". It's moments like these that I am thankful we speak Portuguese, as I don't believe everyone in the bank wished to hear about her need for a toilet at that moment. I asked her if she could wait just a few minutes, and she told me she could. Although the look in her eyes said otherwise. I asked the teller if there was a bathroom we could use, but I was informed there was no public restroom. I told Gabs she would have to wait just a moment. The transaction at the bank counter was taking longer than it should. Gabriela continued to remind me she needed to poop. I explained that the two year old really needed a potty, but the nice teller explained to me that we were not allowed to use the restroom at the bank. Moments later, as I continued to wait on the teller to finish our transaction, I watched as Gabs got a most concerned look on her face, and then, with tears building, she told me that she had cocô in her new monkey panties.

It should be noted that a diet high in fiber leads to rather soft stools. Rather soft stools are rather difficult for a two year old to control. And getting poop in your new panties is really upsetting. Especially when they are your favorite ones with monkeys on them.

It's not a lot of fun to clean soft poo out of monkey panties in the bank parking lot either - you know, since we couldn't use the bathroom there, and I wasn't about to make the poor kid sit in her car seat with her pants full. That's for Lilian to do. Which she did. On the way home from the bank.


Amanda said...

Thanks for the laugh today!!!!!!!!! You should make a complaint to the bank about that obnoxious teller, I think she could have made an exception for a little girl. I hate extreme rule sticklers! You also should make her buy Gabs some new monkey panties :)
p.s. your kids are gorgeous!
p.p.s in the first picture I was thinking for a few moments that that was poop on Lillian’s face....brightly colored poop I might add...

Emily said...

haha, no Amanda, that would just be the remains of some highly artificially colored cereal that I normally do not allow in my house that the girls found and quickly devoured...Trix, I think it was. The next picture in the series I took that day was of Gabriela licking it off of her sister's face. hahaha

While we're on the subject though: As I recall, it did turn Lilian's poop multi-colored though.

Vivi DiLopes Adams said...

Emily, your girls are so pretty! I love Gabriela's hair.