A Novel Idea! (Sort Of)

Being very pregnant in a large crowded place can make for some interesting predicaments. For example, I have a general policy of avoiding public restrooms in places like stadiums - especially when the great majority of the population is busy drinking adult beverages. And while we girls do have the option of that thigh-burning-hoover maneuver, there is always the risk of losing your balance (especially when you're toting around a big belly) or your legs giving out on you(also a distinct possibility at 4:00 am) and landing smack dab on the germy toilet seat that my mother always warned me about.

My dedication to the no-bathroom-breaks-in-stadiums rule applied even more so at the Sambódromo last week. Which means I carefully made sure to only ingest as many fluids as I was sweating out, thereby removing the necessity for bathroom breaks. (Hey, I know, not the healthiest option out there, but judging by the massive crowds, I was seriously afraid to go into the restroom there . . .)

Growing up with 3 brothers and now having a husband, I am quick to admit that on more than one occasion I have been jealous of their ability to answer the call of nature pretty much anywhere and without the need to condition their thigh muscles first. And I confess that a twinge of jealousy did come over me as we left the Sambódromo at 5:00 am and Eric made a quick restroom stop. Despite sweating plenty, it had been like 10 hours since I had been near a clean restroom and that's a heck of a long time for this prego - especially after enduring several hours of a four-pound fetus samba dancing on your bladder!

So imagine my disappointment when I was unpacking on Thursday last week and I discovered one of the many "goodies" I had been unknowingly handed as I entered the Sambódromo:

(front of package)

(back of package)

Along with several condoms (yes, seriously, they handed everyone entering the place 4 condoms . . . now, first off, that doesn't help to change the tourists' image of Carnaval/Brasil . . . and further more, something about me being, oh, 8 months pregnant and being there with my husband makes me believe that maybe, just maybe, I was't the most ideal recipient of their safe-sex campaign handouts . . . but I digress), I was handed three of these babies. Without even looking at what they gave me, I threw the three small packages in our bag along with all the other fun handouts of the evening.

Now, if you will notice the bottom right of the back of the package (as pictured above), you might observe that there is a diagram of a woman standing in front of the toilet as she relieves herself. Oh yes, my friends, I had been given the gift of standing to pee! And I didn't even know it!!!

Of course, this being the first time I had ever been exposed to this concept, I quickly opened up a package to further inspect this little contraption.

And then it took me at least 10 minutes to stop giggling. My mind started going in all kinds of directions (like: I wonder if the women's restroom had a trough ahahahahaha; and, what would I have thought if I had gone into the restroom without the knowledge of this little device and seen high heels in the stall next to me turned the wrong way, facing the toilet? hehehehehe) Oh, I'm just never too old for a little potty humor.

But I am still rather disappointed that I didn't know about this until three days later. Of course, I really doubt I would have been able to bring myself to try using it - something about it just screams "accident-waiting-to-happen", or to me at least. But still, it is rather tempting to throw one of the unopened packages into my purse, you know, just in case. And furthermore, despite my reluctance to embrace such technology, kudos to the genius who is trying to rid us ladies of our hoovering-necessities!

(Fellow Brasil-Blogger and friend over at Daily Rio Life also had a bit to say about this and much more on the xixi topic. And just for the record, my lab (oh thank goodness!) does things a bit differently than hers! hehehe)